Independent Infant Adoption
You need to explore the laws in your state to see if self-matching is allowed and what the parameters are for prospective adoptive parents in your state. Adoption law is nuanced and we recommend asking an attorney who specializes in adoption to see if this is a viable route in your state before you begin.
Once you get some more information, you can move forward.
To begin an independent adoption process, we recommend retaining an attorney who specializes in adoption. This may be the attorney you consulted with in the step prior, or you may wish to choose a new one.
Adoption is a complicated, legal process and it’s important to work with someone knowledgeable in adoption law in your state. Besides terminating birth parents’ parental rights and finalizing the adoption, the attorney will advise you along the way on legal issues.
While many family attorneys have experience in adoption, there are very specific laws around independent/private adoption. Some states have requirements and restrictions around advertising, adoptive parents covering living expenses for birth parents and more. Not understanding these laws may put you and your adoption at risk.
Doing your research and taking the time to find the right attorney is essential to your process.
Your home study provider will conduct your home study interviews, oversee the legal and education requirements, and hopefully, approve you to adopt a child.
Even though you’ve chosen an independent adoption route, you may still need to do some work with an adoption agency. Depending on your state, you may be able to work with independent licensed social workers for your home study, or you may need to contract with an adoption agency for a home study.
You may decide you need support with advertising, gathering information, etc. There are individuals who provide these services if you feel you’d like them. However, it’s imperative to check with your attorney if the service and the pricing for the service is legal in your state.
Additionally, there are many adoption facilitators operating around the country, primarily matching pre-adoptive parents and expectant parents and facilitating infant domestic adoptions. These professionals are unlicensed/unauthorized by the state and therefore, unsupervised. Several states across the country have successfully banned these providers and others have legislation pending.
It’s important to know how to spot the difference between licensed and unlicensed providers. The National Council for Adoption has a searchable directory that is helpful. Before putting your trust (and money) into a provider, be sure you’re making an informed decision. This article offers more information on unlicensed providers.
Every adoptive family is required to have a home study – typically, the process is broken down into education, paperwork, a home inspection and interviews. This part of the process often takes several months from start to finish.
One aspect to agencies is that they will show your family’s profile to expectant parents considering adoption. When on an independent journey, you’re managing your own marketing.
*Check with your attorney about what sort of profiling and marketing techniques are allowed in your state. Many states have limitations, restrictions or outright bans on advertising for an adoption as a prospective adoptive parent. It’s very important to understand what you are legally allowed and not allowed to do.
If advertising is allowed in your state, ask specifically about:
- How will your advertising decisions impact an adoption of a child from another state?
- How much are you financially allowed to put into profiling and marketing?
- What language is or is not permitted when advertising?
- What platforms are and are not allowed?
One aspect to agencies is that they will speak to expectant parents inquiring about adoption, provide options counseling, assist with matching them with a pre-adoptive family, and facilitate the initial conversations between the two parties. Typically, in independent adoptions, the pre-adoptive parent(s) and the expectant parent(s) have significantly more direct contact.
With an independent adoption, typically the pre-adoptive parent(s) is fielding inquiries from expectant parents and having conversations on their own or with the support of their attorney. This may mean that you’re the one discussing the expectant parent(s)’ medical histories, social history, etc. as opposed to a social worker.
After consents are signed, your attorney will have you complete your adoption paperwork to place the baby with your family. The contents of the document depend on your attorney, state and jurisdiction. At that time, if they’re ready for hospital discharge, you’ll either bring your baby home with you (if they were born in the state you live in) or you’ll have an ICPC process (if they were born in a different state) and then you’ll head home!
This is the time between the child joining your family and the finalization of their adoption. The length of the post-placement period and the expectations for it depends on the state the adoptive parents reside in and the state where the baby was born. During this time period, a social worker will “supervise” the adoptive family – visiting your home at intervals set by the state and assuring that the child is safe and well-cared for and that the rest of the family is adjusting well. This social worker may be the same that completed your home study or they may be from an agency you contract. This is also a great time to ask questions, request resources and more support if needed.
They will then write up reports that will be provided for the legal finalization of the adoption.
The big day! You’ll head to court with your child and your attorney. The judge will have reviewed all the important documents and make you the legal parent(s) of your child. It’s official!
