Anonymity & Openness
The choice between donor anonymity and openness is a critical aspect of donor conception, with significant implications for recipients, donors, and offspring. Understanding the benefits and challenges of each approach can help you make informed decisions that best suit your needs and values.
Not every donor perfectly fits into the below three categories. For example, some programs offer hopeful recipient parents the opportunity to meet the anonymous donor one time (without sharing further identifying information). Additionally, many programs use different titles for the types of donors in their programs.
Anonymous or Undisclosed Donors
Anonymous or undisclosed donors are individuals who donate their sperm, eggs, or embryos without revealing their identity to the recipients or future offspring. In this type of arrangement, identifying information about the donor, such as their name, contact details, and personal background, is kept confidential. This often presents a “simpler” arrangement with incredibly clear boundaries. There is typically a wide availability of anonymous donors through banks, agencies and clinics, possibly offering recipient parents more options.
However, an anonymous donor also presents its challenges. You and your child will have limited access to information. There may be a lack of important genetic, medical and ancestral information – and there may be no opportunity to receive updated information or ask questions in the future. Children born through anonymous donors may struggle with a gap in their understanding of their own identity as they age. Some advocates believe that donor-conceived people have the right to know their genetic origins if they so choose, and 81% of donor-conceived people in a recent survey support abolishing anonymous donation agreements. Additionally, with the rise in consumer DNA testing such as 23&Me, anonymity is nearly impossible to maintain. Instead, the onus to seek information and contact genetic relatives falls on the donor-conceived person, which can be difficult emotionally.
Open ID Donors
Open identity (or “open ID”) donors are individuals who donate their sperm, eggs, or embryos with the understanding that their identity can be disclosed to their donor-conceived offspring when they reach a certain age – typically 18 years old. They often agree that they are open to at least one contact with the donor-conceived person (although some may be open to more contact). Before that time, you will have access to non-identifying information and self-reported medical history. You and your child may be unable to access updated medical information or ask further questions during their childhood.
There are a number of benefits and challenges when seeking an open ID donor. As a recipient parent, knowing your child may seek this connection in adulthood may feel emotionally complex, depending on how you’ve processed your infertility, grief, and your choice to pursue donor conception. However, this option does have the potential to offer more transparency for your child about their genetic background, medical history and origins, which may be incredibly beneficial. There is the possibility that it may be difficult for your child to wait until 18 to seek contact, and the onus on them to do so can be difficult to decide on. Additionally, even though donors agree to the contact upon donation, a lot can change in 18 years.
Known Donors
Known donors are individuals who donate their sperm, eggs or embryos for donor conception and whose identity is known to recipients from the beginning. Known donors are typically friends, family members, or acquaintances of the recipients. Known donation offers immediate access to information, as donors and recipient parents (and likely later, the donor-conceived person) have direct access to each other. Therefore, sharing updated medical, genetic and personal information and asking questions can occur without a mediator. A known arrangement also may offer the opportunity to build a relationship between all parties from early on. Many donor-conceived people and their allies advocate for known donor arrangements as it can be helpful for the child.
There also can be challenges with known donors. Existing personal or familial relationships can change – and feel a bit more complicated – when donor conception becomes part of the dynamic. Clear boundaries from the beginning with a willingness to revisit them can promote comfort and respect for all involved. There’s also legal implications when working with a known donor and legal agreements should cover parentage and responsibilities. It’s also wise to seek counseling as a group to discuss how everyone would like the future to look and so everyone can offer their informed consent before moving forward
Directed Donors
There are matchmaking services and online communities where recipients can connect with donors for the express purpose of donor conception. When the donor is donating specifically to a chosen recipient (as opposed to donating to a pool of recipients and then having their information disclosed) they are called a “directed donor.” Like working with a known donor, there are legal implications when working with a directed donor. Legal agreements should cover parentage and responsibilities and should be drawn up by an appropriate attorney.
