I remember learning how the Imahot (the Matriarchs) struggled to have children, how Chana yearned for sons. Teacher after teacher would explain that Hashem gives us struggles because He wants our prayers. He wants our soul, our heartfelt prayer! Well here goes nothing: Hashem, please make this month the last. Please let me be [...]
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I navigated infertility, and thank God, after the many ups and downs, I now have 4 children. I still speak openly, to anyone who will listen, in the hopes that my story may help others on their fertility journeys. I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I write that in bold because I do not dispense medical [...]
Sixteen months ago I walked arm in arm with my parents with slow and steady steps to my Chupah to meet my beloved under a canopy of white. Sixteen months ago I walked around him seven times, seven circles of envelopment, seven turns of intimacy and of building a home together. Sixteen months ago we [...]
When I was younger I would look forward to Sundays. It was the day my family would do fun things together, maybe see my cousins, or go shopping and out for lunch. But as I got older, Sundays just didn't have the same value. I remember when I was single, Sunday would seem like a [...]
When I was in my early twenties, and had just gotten engaged, the mother of one of my close friends didn't come to our engagement party. I heard later that it was because it was too difficult to experience while having a few older unmarried daughters. At the time I didn't understand. Unfortunately, now I [...]
I remember the aftermath of my first miscarriage. Many times people don’t even realize they have had a miscarriage when it happens so early in the game, but since I was going through fertility treatments, in this case an IUI, I knew that I had conceived, I knew that it had implanted and the cells [...]
A reflection on the emotions related to infertility and friendship: During the past few months I have been asked by some of my friends to describe what it is they could do to be a supportive friend. Although I cannot speak for everyone navigating infertility, I decided to share some of my thoughts. Everything has been [...]
You know that awkward moment of silence when someone asks “How are you?” and you know that, to answer truthfully would go deep into a conversation neither of you wants to enter, so you take a deep breath before you muster up a quick “fine” and try to change the subject? That awkward pause is [...]
My husband and I got married very young, and we decided to push off having kids because we were both in school. As the years went by, we watched our friends have one child after another and we decided that we were ready. In my mind, once I had made the decision to start the [...]
Facebook is a funny thing. You see the best in people: their photos, status updates of awards or vacations. Rarely does someone talk about struggles, depression or suffering a loss (unless, G-d forbid, they have lost a parent and want people to know funeral or shiva information.) Almost a year ago, I did the [...]