Introduction to Social and Emotional Considerations
Deciding to pursue donor conception is a significant and often emotional decision. It’s normal to experience a range of feelings, including hope, anxiety, and grief. Here are some strategies to help cope with the decision-making process:
Coping with Emotions and Decision-Making
Acknowledge and allow yourself to grieve the losses associated with infertility. It is important to grieve the loss of genetic connection you and/or your partner may face if you need to work with a donor or donors to conceive. This process can take some time, but it’s important work. It can be therapeutic to process all you’ve gone through and can potentially pave the way for a positive donor conception experience.
Professional counseling with someone who specializes in infertility and donor conception can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, address fears, and receive guidance on navigating complex emotions. It also provides a connection to a professional should you wish to return to discuss the impacts of infertility and donor conception on your life and family as time goes by later.
Connecting with others who have gone through or are going through similar experiences can provide emotional support and practical advice. Register for Yesh Tikva’s Donor Conception Supportive Spaces here.
Understanding the medical, legal, and ethical aspects of donor conception can reduce uncertainty and help you feel more in control of the process. It can also be helpful to learn from donor-conceived people who are sharing their stories and experiences. The United States Donor Conceived Council (USDCC) is a great place to explore. There are also several other great resources we’d like to recommend.
Support Systems
Building a strong support system can be very helpful while pursuing donor conception and even more so if you end up parenting a donor-conceived child.
Creating a child as a couple is a two-person decision and it’s absolutely best to make sure both partners are on board with the donor conception process and future plans before proceeding. If you have a partner, ensure open and honest communication about feelings, expectations, and concerns. It’s essential to understand and to even expect conflicting opinions and different emotional responses. Create space for any difficult moments and work together to find answers that feel authentic to both of you.
Consider sharing your plans with trusted family members and friends who can offer emotional support. This can feel difficult for some potential recipient parents, as donor conception is often a misunderstood topic. Consider sharing resources with them and expressing how much you need them by your side.
Discussing donor conception with your rabbi or another religious leader can be helpful. Some may not agree with the choice to consider donor conception to grow your family, or if they do, may have some conflicting opinions from other sources.
