When I was younger I would look forward to Sundays. It was the day my family would do fun things together, maybe see my cousins, or go shopping and out for lunch. But as I got older, Sundays just didn’t have the same value. I remember when I was single, Sunday would seem like a never ending day that would only remind me that I did not have someone to spend it with. I’d sit at home dreaming of how these lonely Sundays would disappear once I was spending them with my husband. Well thankfully, once I got married, Sundays became fun again. But it didn’t last long. We began our journey to starting a family shortly after getting married and within a few months I was pregnant. I figured it was just easy for me to get pregnant as it had been for my mom. The baby would be here before our one year anniversary. Well seven weeks into my pregnancy, I miscarried. It was a heartbreaking wake up call. And more than that, it was scary… What if this keeps happening to me? From then on, Sundays were lonely again. I would spend them thinking of the couples who were out at the park with their kids or doing fun family activities. These people could not possibly feel the emptiness I feel. Seeing a pregnant woman or a baby stroller gave me a pit in my stomach. Would I ever get there?
We did not get pregnant again right away, and the wait seemed endless. Month after month, my anxiety would build looking for any sign of pregnancy. And Sundays were still the worst. A day without routine made my mind so unbelievably unrested. My husband, always having the ability to think positive, would reassure me that these Sunday blues would one day be a far off memory. Thankfully, a year after my miscarriage, we were blessed to be pregnant again and thank G-d we now have adorable twins. And it was only after I began experiencing these new “non-lonely” Sundays with my kids that I reflected on my old feelings. My husband was right, those old Sunday blues were gone, but I began to feel regret for not enjoying those routineless days with my husband and family and friends before our kids were born. The birth of my twins was the most incredible, life-changing event of my life and Sundays and every other day are the best days of the week now. If you can though, try to enjoy those childless Sundays, they will G-d willing not last forever.
