How Miscarriage Changed Our Lives
A Partner’s Perspective on Finding Purpose After Pregnancy Loss
Complete jubilation best describes the feeling I had when I learned that my wife, Ronit, was pregnant with our second child. Ever since our first daughter, Eden, was old enough to speak, Ronit and I knew in our hearts that she needed a younger sibling.
From an early age, we could see Eden had strong motherly instincts. She spoke to her dolls, held them carefully, and showed a natural tenderness toward younger children and babies. We intuitively knew that Eden would be an amazing older sister and that a younger sibling would complete our small family.
Ronit and I were ecstatic when we learned that our dream of growing our family was finally going to come true.
As I write this today, our dream has indeed come true, but not without heartache and obstacles along the way.
The day everything changed
Ronit was about eleven weeks pregnant when we went in for a routine ultrasound appointment with her OB-GYN. We were thrilled to get our first glimpse of our baby and hear the heartbeat of our second child.
As the doctor moved the ultrasound probe across Ronit’s beautiful baby bump, I sensed something was off. She was quiet. Too quiet. I kept looking between the doctor, Ronit, and the ultrasound screen. Before the doctor even spoke, my stomach sank. I had a feeling something was very wrong.
Then the doctor said the words that shattered our world:
“I’m sorry. I don’t detect a heartbeat.”
I vividly recall how Ronit screamed, “No, no, no!” and burst into tears.
My heart broke instantly for her pain. I wanted desperately to take it away from her and to somehow carry it for her, but I couldn’t. I felt guilty, hopeless, and devastated by our loss, yet I knew Ronit’s trauma was deeper and much more devastating for her.
At the same time, another immense wave of grief hit me: the loss of Eden’s opportunity to become a big sister.
In that moment, I felt utterly shaken and completely lost. It was as if my mind had separated from my body and everything around me blurred.
Supporting a partner through miscarriage
In the weeks that followed, I instinctively knew that my role was to be Ronit’s source of strength and comfort. I needed to show up for her in every way possible and needed to lean in as a father for Eden while Ronit recovered from both the emotional trauma and the physical reality of miscarriage.
Ronit still needed to undergo a medical procedure to remove the lifeless baby from her body. Watching the woman you love go through that kind of pain is something that is impossible to fully prepare for.
At the time, I didn’t know if we would ever have another chance to grow our family. But I did know something else with absolute certainty: I was incredibly grateful to have Ronit and Eden.
Even in grief, that truth grounded me.
What I learned as a partner after pregnancy loss
During that time, I made a quiet commitment to myself. I would do anything Ronit asked of me to support her healing, ease her pain, and to give our family the best possible chance of trying again to fulfill our ultimate dream of having another child. I listened and trusted my wife and her intuition.
If she asked me to change my diet, I did it.
If she suggested lifestyle changes, I followed through.
If she handed me supplements, I took them.
For the next three months, I focused on taking care of my health by improving my nutrition, prioritizing sleep, reducing stress, and supporting my body however I could.
Looking back now, that experience taught me something important: fertility and pregnancy are not just a woman’s responsibility. They are a shared journey.
Finding hope after miscarriage
Three months later, after our first attempt to conceive following our miscarriage, Ronit got pregnant!
Today, we are living out our heavenly dream. Eden, who is now nine years old, has a healthy, precious, beautiful five-year-old sister named Emma. Life is busy, chaotic, and absolutely wonderful.
How loss led to purpose
Out of Ronit’s immense pain and trauma came something extraordinary: her life’s purpose. She co-founded WeNatal, a prenatal supplement company designed to support both women and men during their fertility journey, alongside her best friend Vida, who had experienced a very similar, if not identical, journey conceiving her second child with her husband Shawn.
A message to other partners after pregnancy loss
If I could offer one piece of advice to anyone who has experienced the heartbreaking tragedy of miscarriage or pregnancy loss, it would be this:
The path forward may not look like what you expected. It may take time. It may involve trial and time, healing, and patience. Partners grieve too. Showing up for one another with patience, compassion, and openness can be one of the most meaningful parts of healing.
My warmest regards,
Uri
FAQ with WeNatal
Do partners experience grief after miscarriage?
Yes. Pregnancy loss affects both partners emotionally, even though the physical experience happens in the mother’s body. Many partners feel grief, helplessness, guilt, or pressure to stay strong while supporting their spouse. Acknowledging that both partners are grieving can help couples heal together.
How can a partner support someone through miscarriage?
Partners can provide support after miscarriage by listening without trying to “fix” the situation, helping with daily responsibilities, attending medical appointments, and creating space for their partner to process emotions. Emotional presence and patience are often the most meaningful forms of support.
Do fathers grieve pregnancy loss?
Yes. Fathers and partners often grieve miscarriage deeply, even though their experience may be less visible. Some partners process grief internally while focusing on supporting their spouse, which can make their own emotions harder to recognize or discuss.
How can couples heal together after pregnancy loss?
Healing after pregnancy loss often involves open communication, shared grieving, and supporting each other emotionally. Many couples also focus on restoring physical health, optimizing fertility, and preparing their bodies for future pregnancies when they feel ready.
When can couples try to conceive again after miscarriage?
The timeline for trying to conceive after miscarriage varies depending on medical guidance and emotional readiness. Some couples may be approved to try again within a few months, while others may need more time to heal physically and emotionally.
Note from Yesh Tikva
This post was originally published by WeNatal and is shared with permission. To read Uri’s complete story, including additional reflections from WeNatal, click here.