Description
Sometimes the hardest part is having to explain what you need.
Mikvah can hold tremendous meaning during infertility and after reproductive loss. It can also be an emotionally complicated experience—particularly when someone is already carrying disappointment, grief, uncertainty, or the exhaustion of treatment.
And in that moment, having to explain all of that to another person may feel like one more thing to manage.
Mikvah Support Notes were created to make that conversation a little easier.
The small, tear-off sheets allow someone to privately share that they are navigating infertility or perinatal loss and identify the kind of support that would feel most helpful that evening. They can also communicate what they would prefer the mikvah attendant not do or say.
Options include requests such as:
- A few extra minutes in the water
- Words of encouragement
- Davening on their behalf
- A kind touch or hug
- Words of bracha
- Permission to cry without needing to explain
- Quiet presence without recommendations or advice
- Information about additional supportive resources
The sheet also gives the individual space to indicate that they would prefer to avoid things such as questions, encouragement, brachot, or being told that someone will daven for them.
Because support is personal.
There is no universally “right” response to infertility or loss.
One person may desperately want a bracha. Another may find it painful.
One person may want to talk. Another may simply want a few quiet minutes in the water without questions.
One person may appreciate hearing, “I’ll daven for you.” Another may not want their experience spiritualized at all.
The purpose of this notepad is not to tell mikvah attendants how to respond. It is to help the person arriving at the mikvah have more control over how they are supported.
Sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is ask—and then listen to the answer.
How It Works
The individual can complete a sheet before or upon arriving at the mikvah and hand it discreetly to the mikvah attendant.
They can check as much or as little as they would like. A blank space is also included for needs that are not listed.
The note creates an opening for support without requiring someone to disclose more of their story than they want to share.
What’s Included
Each pad includes:
- 10 tear-off sheets
- 5.5″ × 3″ pad size
- Checkboxes for infertility, perinatal loss, or another experience
- Options for preferred forms of support
- Options for what the individual would prefer to avoid
- Space to provide a name for tefillah
- Space for individualized needs
Designed For
These notepads may be useful for:
- Mikvaot
- Mikvah attendants
- Mikvah directors
- Synagogues and Jewish communal organizations
- Rabbis and rebbetzins
- Organizations supporting infertility and pregnancy loss
- Individuals who would like to bring a note with them to the mikvah
A Note for Mikvah Leadership
Consider keeping the pad somewhere that can be accessed privately and without requiring someone to ask for it.
For example, pads or individual sheets might be available near:
- preparation rooms
- intake areas
- private waiting spaces
- other informational materials
The goal is to make support available without requiring someone to publicly identify themselves as needing it.
Product Details
Size: 5.5″ × 3″
Sheets: 10 per pad
Format: Tear-off notepad
Language: English
Created by: Yesh Tikva
At Yesh Tikva, we believe Jewish communal spaces can acknowledge infertility and reproductive loss without requiring people to leave those experiences at the door.
Sometimes inclusion begins with something very small:
“What would feel supportive to you tonight?”
