I didn’t choose to be a warrior.
I didn’t choose to have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome).
I didn’t choose to be infertile.
I didn’t choose to not know when I would ovulate.
And because of all of this, I don’t get to choose when I’ll get pregnant. It’s not easy. Infertility sucks. It’s so isolating.
No matter how much support I have, it doesn’t take away the pain. It hurts to go to synagogue and see pregnant women. I can’t even go anymore. I can barely walk out of my apartment in fear of seeing my pregnant neighbor.
I hate it. It all sucks. I feel like I always have to explain myself.
I just want people to be sensitive. I want people to understand what I have to go through. The pain and the tears. Heck I can make a mikvah (ritual bath) out of my tears. If only that worked. If only all my tears would lead to my dream coming true.
As much as I like my doctor, I don’t like what it means. I don’t like that it means I need to get poked and prodded and that I won’t know when ovulation will happen.
I just want my baby. I want to be a mother. I want to have a family.
Until then I’ll sit here and cry.[vc_row full_width=”stretch_row” css=”.vc_custom_1614308070971{padding-top: 70px !important;padding-bottom: 70px !important;background-color: #ffffff !important;}”]
Resources to Support Yourself and Others
[vc_row_inner css=”.vc_custom_1608328602054{margin-bottom: 70px !important;}”][vc_column_inner width=”1/4″][vc_single_image image=”179610″ img_size=”100×100″ alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_border_circle” border_color=”purple” onclick=”custom_link” link=”https://yeshtikva.org/supporting-others/reach-out/”][vc_custom_heading text=”C3- Support Groups” font_container=”tag:h2|font_size:26px|text_align:center|color:%2331b0c8″ use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”pn-light yt-support-header” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fyeshtikva.org%2Fsupporting-yourself%2Fc3-support-groups%2F|title:Reach%20Out”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/4″][vc_single_image image=”179334″ img_size=”100×100″ alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_border_circle” border_color=”purple” onclick=”custom_link” link=”https://yeshtikva.org/supporting-others/ritual-space/”][vc_custom_heading text=”Tikva Talks” font_container=”tag:h2|font_size:26px|text_align:center|color:%2331b0c8″ use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”pn-light yt-support-header” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fyeshtikva.org%2Fsupporting-yourself%2Ftikva-talks%2F|title:Ritual%20Space”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/4″][vc_single_image image=”180004″ img_size=”100×100″ alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_border_circle” border_color=”purple” onclick=”custom_link” link=”https://yeshtikva.org/supporting-others/mindful-conversations/”][vc_custom_heading text=”Hosting Guests” font_container=”tag:h2|font_size:26px|text_align:center|color:%2331b0c8″ use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”pn-light yt-support-header” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fyeshtikva.org%2Fsupporting-others%2Fmindful-conversations%2F|title:Mindful%20Conversations”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/4″][vc_single_image image=”180003″ img_size=”100×100″ alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_border_circle” border_color=”purple” onclick=”custom_link” link=”https://yeshtikva.org/supporting-others/parents-and-grandparents/”][vc_custom_heading text=”Parents/Grandparents” font_container=”tag:h2|font_size:26px|text_align:center|color:%2331b0c8″ use_theme_fonts=”yes” el_class=”pn-light yt-support-header” link=”url:https%3A%2F%2Fyeshtikva.org%2Fsupporting-others%2Fparents-and-grandparents%2F|title:Parents%20and%20Grandparents”][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner]
